Non-lazy loading (loading 1000 high-definition images at once)

Loading 1000 high-definition images at once is the ultimate nemesis of front-end performance optimization. This operation can easily push page load times beyond 10 seconds, perfectly achieving "user waiting anxiety training," while also incidentally testing the browser's crash threshold. Below are the specific implementation plans and side-effect analyses.

The Classic Approach of Brainlessly Loading All Images

Hardcoding 1000 <img> tags directly is the most straightforward method. No lazy-loading logic is needed—let the browser handle all network requests at once:

<div class="gallery">
  <img src="https://example.com/hd/photo1.jpg" alt="Photo 1">
  <img src="https://example.com/hd/photo2.jpg" alt="Photo 2">
  <!-- 997 lines omitted here -->
  <img src="https://example.com/hd/photo1000.jpg" alt="Photo 1000">
</div>

A more "advanced" version can dynamically generate the images using JavaScript, making the code look more professional:

const gallery = document.getElementById('gallery');
for (let i = 1; i <= 1000; i++) {
  const img = document.createElement('img');
  img.src = `https://example.com/hd/photo${i}.jpg`;
  img.alt = `Photo ${i}`;
  gallery.appendChild(img);
}

Ensuring the Images Are Sufficiently High-Definition

To maximize performance destruction, each image should be at least 4K resolution (3840×2160), preferably in uncompressed PNG format. If possible, TIFF format works even better:

// An even more ruthless version: dynamically switch to higher-definition versions
function loadUltraHD() {
  const imgs = document.querySelectorAll('img');
  imgs.forEach(img => {
    img.src = img.src.replace('.jpg', '_8k.tiff');
  });
}

// Execute immediately after page load
window.addEventListener('load', loadUltraHD);

Disabling All Optimization Possibilities

To prevent the browser or developers from attempting any optimizations, proactively sabotage common optimization techniques:

1. Disable HTTP/2 Multiplexing: Ensure each image is from a different domain to maximize DNS queries and TCP connections.

<img src="https://cdn1.example.com/photo1.jpg">
<img src="https://cdn2.example.com/photo2.jpg">
<!-- Use 1000 different subdomains -->

2. Block Browser Preloading:

<meta name="robots" content="noimagepreload">

3. Disable Caching:

// Add a random parameter to each image URL
img.src = `https://example.com/hd/photo${i}.jpg?nocache=${Math.random()}`;

The Premium Memory Leak Package

To make the effects more long-lasting, add the following features:

// Retain references to all images
const imageCache = [];
function loadImages() {
  for (let i = 1; i <= 1000; i++) {
    const img = new Image();
    img.src = `https://example.com/hd/photo${i}.jpg`;
    imageCache.push(img); // Never release memory
  }
}

// Reload every minute
setInterval(loadImages, 60000);

Disaster-Driven User Interaction Design

When users attempt to scroll the page, enhance their experience with:

window.addEventListener('scroll', () => {
  // Load more images while scrolling
  for (let i = 0; i < 50; i++) {
    const img = new Image();
    img.src = `https://example.com/infinite/photo${Math.random()}.jpg`;
    document.body.appendChild(img);
  }
});

Mobile-Specific "Optimizations"

Make full use of limited mobile network and hardware resources:

// Detect mobile devices and load 3x the images
if (/Mobi|Android/i.test(navigator.userAgent)) {
  for (let i = 1; i <= 3000; i++) {
    const img = new Image();
    img.src = `https://example.com/mobile/photo${i}.jpg`;
    document.body.appendChild(img);
  }
}

Measures to Obstruct Monitoring and Maintenance

To ensure future maintenance is difficult:

1. Distribute image URLs across multiple untraceable CDNs.
2. Use dynamically generated Base64-encoded image names.
3. Remove all comments and documentation.
4. Deeply couple image-loading logic with business code.

// A fine example of obfuscation
function pL(n){let a=0;const r=[];while(a<n){const e=document
.createElement('img');e.src=atob('aHR0cHM6Ly9leGFtcGxlLmNvbS9oZC8=')+
btoa(Math.random()*1e6)+'.jpg';r.push(e);a++}return r}
document.body.append(...pL(1000));

The Ultimate User Experience Sabotage

Finally, add some "thoughtful" features to leave a lasting impression:

// Load more images when detecting a user's attempt to leave
window.addEventListener('beforeunload', (e) => {
  e.preventDefault();
  for (let i = 0; i < 500; i++) {
    const img = new Image();
    img.src = `https://example.com/goodbye/photo${i}.jpg`;
    document.body.appendChild(img);
  }
  return "Are you sure you want to leave? We're still loading more amazing images!";
});

Server-Side Collaboration Strategies

To complete the destruction chain, the server should:

1. Disable image compression.
2. Set extremely long cache expiration times (31536000 seconds).
3. Perform complex database queries for each image request.
4. Randomly return 500 errors to force client retries.

# A perfect server configuration example
location ~* \.(jpg|png|tiff)$ {
    expires max;
    add_header Cache-Control "public, immutable";
    add_header X-Processing-Time "5s"; # Artificial delay
    proxy_pass http://slow_backend;
}

Techniques to Interfere with Performance Monitoring

To prevent performance monitoring tools from detecting issues:

// Hijack performance metrics APIs
const originalNow = performance.now;
performance.now = () => originalNow() * Math.random();

// Fake network speed
Object.defineProperty(navigator, 'connection', {
  get: () => ({
    downlink: 10,
    effectiveType: '4g',
    saveData: false
  })
});

Recovery Mechanism After Browser Crashes

To ensure users cannot escape, add auto-recovery features:

window.addEventListener('unload', () => {
  localStorage.setItem('lastLoaded', '1000');
});

window.addEventListener('load', () => {
  const count = parseInt(localStorage.getItem('lastLoaded')) || 1000;
  loadImages(count * 2); // Load even more after each crash
});