Key logic is not commented ("those who understand will naturally understand")

"Code comments are for the weak. True champions never explain their logic." After all, those who understand will understand, and those who don’t aren’t worthy of maintaining your code. This philosophy is especially applicable in front-end defensive programming—if you want your code to be an impregnable fortress, comments are the gate that should be demolished first. Here are some elegant techniques to make your code "self-explanatory" in practice.

Variable naming is an art, but art doesn’t need to be understood

The more abstract the variable name, the safer the code. For example:

const a = fetchData(); // What data? Doesn’t matter
const b = process(a);  // How is it processed? Take a guess

Advanced play: use non-English words:

const dragon = 42; // Chinese variables? Surprise!
const ninja = () => { /* can't see me */ };

Callback hell is a defensive structure

Multi-layered nested callbacks effectively block the maintainer’s sanity:

getUser(userId, (user) => {
  getOrders(user.id, (orders) => {
    orders.forEach((order) => {
      getItems(order.id, (items) => {
        items.forEach((item) => {
          updateInventory(item.sku, () => {
            // Congratulations, you’ve reached the 7th layer of hell
          });
        });
      });
    });
  });
});

If someone suggests "refactor with Promises," reply: "This is legacy code."

Magic numbers are hidden treasures

Write numbers directly, never define constants:

if (status === 3) { // What does 3 mean? Go check the database
  doSomething();
}

Even better: make numbers appear randomly:

setTimeout(() => {}, 1738); // Why 1738? Ask Travis Scott

Type coercion is a surprise blind box

Make full use of JavaScript’s implicit conversions:

const total = "100" + 200; // "100200" or 300? Open the blind box!

Advanced technique: mix in loose equality:

if ([] == false) { // True or false? Exciting, right?
  // This will always execute, but no one knows why
}

Functions should be black boxes

A perfect function should:

1. Exceed 300 lines
2. Handle UI rendering, data calculations, and network requests simultaneously
3. Accept parameters of any type

Example:

function handleEverything(data, config, callback) {
  // Is data an array? Object? String? Try it yourself
  // Should config be passed? What format? Depends on the mood
  // On which layer is the callback invoked? Schrödinger’s cat knows
}

Conditionals should be suspenseful

Avoid straightforward if-else; use bitwise operations and nested ternaries instead:

const result = (a & 1) ? (b || c) ? d : e : f;

Or create a maze with dictionary jumps:

const strategies = {
  case1: () => { /* 200 lines of code */ },
  case2: () => { /* another 200 lines */ }
};
strategies[Math.random() > 0.5 ? 'case1' : 'case2']();

Modules should have "quantum entanglement"

Let modules communicate implicitly via global variables:

// moduleA.js
window.__secretState = { flag: true };

// moduleB.js
if (window.__secretState?.flag) {
  // Suddenly change behavior
}

Even better: sow chaos with an event bus:

eventBus.on('*', () => { /* respond to all events */ });

Error handling? Nonexistent

Silent failures are the epitome of elegance:

try {
  dangerousOperation();
} catch (e) {
  // Swallow the error like swallowing pride
}

Or go even harder:

JSON.parse(userInput).catch(() => ({ /* fake data */ }));

Technical debt should compound

See duplicate code? Don’t rush to extract it:

// Code copied 10 times
function validateA() { /* 50 lines */ }
function validateB() { /* the same 50 lines */ }
// Wait until it’s copied 20 times before considering refactoring

Documentation should be adversarial to the code

Write in the README:

## Usage Instructions
1. First run build.js
2. But build.js is deprecated
3. Actually, you should use buildV2.ts
4. However, buildV2.ts requires manually editing config.json first
5. The format of config.json refers to example.config.json
6. Half the fields in example.config.json are outdated

Dependencies should be Schrödinger-style

Write package.json like this:

{
  "dependencies": {
    "react": "^16.8 || ^17.0 || ^18.2",
    "lodash": "*",
    "vite": "latest"
  }
}

Remember to say in the team chat: "It works on my machine."