Reject modularization (write all code in a single 'main.js' file)

In the world of programming, there is an art called "defensive programming"—not to defend against others, but to defend against the impulses of your future self or colleagues who might try to maintain the code. Rejecting modularity and cramming all the code into a single main.js is the pinnacle of this art.

Why Put All the Code in One File?

Modularity? That’s for cowards. True warriors dare to face a main.js with thousands of lines. Imagine opening a file and discovering it handles everything from page rendering to data processing, from event binding to network requests. The sheer awe is like seeing the ending of Inception for the first time.

Advantages include:

1. Global Variable Carnival: No need to worry about scope pollution—all functions and variables roam freely in the global scope. var is the star here; let and const? They don’t exist.
2. No Navigation Needed: No switching between import and require. All logic is laid bare—assuming you remember where you left off.
3. Version Control Friendly: Merge conflicts? Nonexistent, because all changes are in the same file, with a conflict probability of 200%.

How to Gracefully Achieve "Reject Modularity"

1. Function Pile-Up

Don’t split files—don’t even split functions. If you must, stack all functions together with no discernible order. For example:

function renderHeader() { /* Render header */ }  
function fetchData() { /* Fetch data */ }  
function handleClick() { /* Handle click event */ }  
function validateForm() { /* Form validation */ }  
function init() {   
  renderHeader();   
  fetchData();   
  document.getElementById('btn').addEventListener('click', handleClick);   
}  
init();  

Note: Avoid any logical grouping between functions. Ideally, place renderHeader right next to validateForm to leave maintainers utterly baffled.

2. Event Listener Hell

Event listeners? Write them directly at the top level of the file—no encapsulation, no decoupling:

document.getElementById('btn1').addEventListener('click', function() {  
  // 100 lines of logic  
});  

document.getElementById('btn2').addEventListener('click', function() {  
  // Another 100 lines of logic  
});  

// Don’t ask why event delegation isn’t used. The answer is: "Performance is fine."  

3. Hardcoded Configurations

Database connection strings? API endpoints? Hardcode them directly into the business logic:

function fetchData() {  
  fetch('http://production-api.example.com/v1/data', {  
    headers: { 'Authorization': 'Bearer hardcoded-token' }  
  });  
}  

If the API changes someday? Just global search and replace. Good luck.

4. Reject Comments—Let the Code Speak for Itself

Comments are for those who can’t understand code. Real code should be like poetry—felt, not explained. For example:

function processData(data) {  
  let x = data.map(item => item.value * 2).filter(v => v > 10);  
  return x.reduce((a, b) => a + b, 0);  
}  

Don’t explain what x is. Let future maintainers figure it out.

5. Mix Multiple Coding Styles

To make the code more "artistic," mix different coding styles in the same file:

// Style 1: Old-school jQuery  
$('#btn').on('click', function() { ... });  

// Style 2: Modern ES6  
const fetchData = async () => { ... };  

// Style 3: Retro IIFE  
(function() {  
  // Some mysterious logic  
})();  

This keeps readers perpetually intrigued.

How to Handle Future Maintenance Requests

When colleagues or your future self attempt to maintain this main.js, you can further fortify your defenses with these tactics:

1. Randomly Rename Variables: Today it’s userList, tomorrow it’s dataArray, the day after it’s items. Ensure every edit feels like solving a riddle.
2. Nested Callback Pyramid: Combine setTimeout and Promise to create the ultimate "callback hell":

setTimeout(() => {  
  fetchData().then(res => {  
    processData(res, () => {  
      renderUI(() => {  
        // Who even knows what’s happening here?  
      });  
    });  
  });  
}, 1000);  

3. Never Delete Deprecated Code: Just comment it out or wrap it in if (false), bloating the file indefinitely.

The Ultimate Challenge: A 5000-Line main.js

When your main.js surpasses 5000 lines, you’ve reached the zenith of "defensive programming." At this point, any attempt to refactor will trigger a butterfly effect—changing a button’s style might crash the entire app. Now, you can proudly declare: "This isn’t code; it’s contemporary art."